In my whole life

[SteveD]

well you know it's going to be bad when someone starts out with "in my 
whole life".  In my whole life, I pushed every girl away. If that is not 
crazy, then nothing is. I want them all back, of course.. I could type 
volumes and sometimes I hint at that. I still don't know. It doesn't 
matter much anymore for no one will have me.

I don't want that, but you know I like to have that. And to write it. "I 
love my pain". I can mold it, I can shape it....whatever, But I am never 
alone.

In my whole life, I guess I'm such a fucking liar, else you are.